It is not my nature to show affection'
by JA35
Summary: A continuation of Elizabeth Gaskell's North and South. One shot. I always wondered how Mrs. Thornton would get on with Margaret as a daughter-in-law. Here's my take on it. Please read and review!


_This story is a continuation of the North and South story, the book and the miniseries.__ It was inspired by the conversation Mrs. Hale and Mrs. Thornton had when the former was so very ill. I always wondered about how Margaret and Mrs. Thornton would get on so this is my take on it. I hope you enjoy it!_

**It is not my nature to show affection.**

'John.' The sick woman hardly moved her lips and had some difficulty gaining John Thornton's attention. 'John,' she repeated louder.

John Thornton did not hear her. It was his turn to sit with his mother during the night. She had been restless all evening and shortly after 11 pm she had fallen asleep. Not daring to leave her he had remained in the bedside chair. _Round the clock_ were the doctor's words and to relieve Margaret, he and the housekeeper took turns and sat with Hanna through the night.

When the man sitting beside her bed did not react she did not hesitate to choose a more rigid way of gaining his attention. Turning over on one side, she reached for the book under her pillow. The effort exhausted her and making a mental note to leave it henceforth at her side under the covers, she shoved it off the bed with some difficulty. The dull thud broke the silence most forcibly and the man sitting beside the bed started from his slumber. He raked a hand through his hair in confusion, not understanding where the noise had come from.

'Never mind John, it is just my book.' Her voice was hoarse and the words came slow.

John Thornton picked up the book and put it on the nightstand close to the glass of water and the box of pills. Seeing this, Hanna smiled. _So much for her plan! _'Is there anything I can do for you, mother?'

Hannah swallowed. She ran her tongue over her lips and as if on cue her son picked up the glass and held it to her lips. After a few sips she rested her head back against the pillows. She was weary and ill and she knew that she would not rise from this bed again.

'I would like to speak to Margaret.' There, it was out, she had said it.

John Thornton's eyes strayed to the clock on the wall showing 3 a.m. _What a terrible time to wake up Margaret_. When he did not move, all the while debating what to do; the sick woman in the bed grew restless. She grabbed his sleeve and said, 'I have to speak to her, alone, John.'

*******************

When Margaret entered the room, sleepy eyed and a little disoriented her mother-in-law was dozing. All that rested from the tall, proud Hannah Thornton she had first learnt to know and later to love was this frail looking, grey haired, old woman. Margaret bowed over her and kissed her on the forehead. She smoothed the sheets and blankets and sat down.

'I am here, mother.' She took Hanna's hand in hers and stroked it. It had comforted her own mother when she was dying and she hoped her mother-in-law would benefit from it too.

After some time the old woman opened her eyes and sought Margaret's and spoke with some difficulty. 'It is not my nature to show affection even where I feel it.' A long uneasy silence fell. Hanna did not know how to continue, Margaret did not understand. At last she spoke.

'I do not understand mother. Why do you say this?'

The old woman continued hoarsely, as if she had not heard her. 'Your mother asked me to be kind to you, to be a friend to you when she was dying. I could not promise kindness, it is not my nature, you must understand.' She looked at Margaret. 'I hated you when you turned down John and yet in the end I had to love you for his sake.'

She got half up from the bed, coughs racking her body. Margaret just held her and when the coughing subsided she gently eased the old lady back. She drank greedily from the glass Margaret held to her lips. Her eyes were closed and her breathing became even. When she spoke Margaret had to strain her ears.

'I was horrible in those days, was not I?' A faint smile was tugging around the corners of her mouth, after uttering these words.

Margaret smiled. '_Those days'_ referred to the days between her coming to Milton with John on the train and her marriage day two months later. She would not lightly forget '_those days'_. Mrs. Thornton had been formidable, finding fault with everything Margaret did or said and never hesitating to point out her failures. At one point she had seriously considered to move out into a hotel and even told Mrs. Thornton so. Whenever she thought of 'those days', her mother-in-law became Mrs. Thornton again. Surprisingly Mrs. Thornton had relented and left her in peace after John had intervened.

'In your eyes I was never good enough for him and I thought you were trying to drive me away from John.'

The old woman opened her eyes and looked at Margaret. 'I was testing you, Miss Hale. I tried you and could not find anything wanting.' Margaret could not help laughing inwardly, _so she was Miss Hale again to her mother-in-law_ _when 'those days' were referred to._ 'But I did not love you and could not be kind to you, not then.'

After a short silence in which both women were thinking of the past, she said, 'Can you forgive me, Margaret? It has been on my conscience ever since I fell ill. I promised your mother and I was the one found wanting here.'

Margaret's eyes were fixed on Hanna's face in wonder. She was offering an apology for her behaviour of seven years ago because of a promise made to her own mother. Her eyes misted when she thought of her weak mother who had 'wrestled' on her deathbed with Hannah Thornton. She bowed over to her mother-in-law and tenderly kissed her on the cheek.

'I forgive you, Mother, for being horrible when you meant to be kind'. It was said in a sweet voice.

Hanna's eyes searched her face to see if she was sincere.

'But I love you because you became the loving friend and mother after I married John and bore his babies. I love you because you stood by me when I lost my little girl and I'll never forget it was you that gave me the strength to go on.'

Only the ticking of the clock was heard in the silence of the night. Margaret's mind wandered back to the day her little darling had been taken from her. Hiding behind a proud, stiff countenance she had dressed her baby girl and put her in the little coffin herself. After the funeral she had withdrawn into herself and she had been grieving for months. Even John was as helpless as anybody to draw her out of despair. One day, she had broken down on the grave of her child. When she returned her mother-in-law was waiting for her and took her apart to comfort her by telling her about the time she had lost her own, dear baby girl. That had proved the turning point in their relation; it was at that time that Mrs. Thornton began to love Margaret and see how deeply she cared for her son and how beneficial she was for his happiness.

She stopped when she felt a soft hand cup her face. 'Of course I stood by you, Margaret. Are you not my daughter now? It hasn't been always easy between us, but John loved you and that was very important to me. I love my son, Margaret, and I love you dearly for loving him and making him happy.'

'That is where you fulfilled your promise, nay, you did even more. You became my mother and you love me as your daughter'. Margaret pressed her lips on Hanna's hand in an affectionate gesture that moved the old woman beyond words. 'I will sit with you this night, you must rest now.'

Hanna looked at her daughter in law in wonder. She had fretted so much over this and here she was forgiven. She took hold of both Margaret's hands and stroked them. John's happiness was safe in these small hands. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. 'You will always love him and make him happy, Margaret, always.'

Margaret looked down on their hands. 'Always,' she whispered with conviction. Gently she pulled her hands free and smoothed the bedcovers. She would miss Hanna when she had gone. It might not be in her nature to show affection; yet she had just done that.

_Thanks for reading!  
_


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